Heroin Addiction & Recovery Blog

Hey all

Now to all those who left comments asking for more posts I am sorry about the months that have passed since posting this has been because life has become so busy that I have been unable to find the time. I will be trying to keep my posts coming again as I am beginning my reduction plan so I should have a lot more related things to talk about.

As many of you will know I moved out of my Mothers and have been living in my new place for just over 6 months without problem. This was until some bloke and his girlfriend moved in downstairs and not only kept ringing up my electric company thinking it was his causing all kinds of problems which resulted in my account being closed 5 times and 5 nights without electric. Also he decided that he would ring the police and my estate agents complaining firstly about me stealing his mail (not true) and secondly saying one of my mates had come in the main door and damaged his door which again is not true as I was with the person he accused as he came up the stairs. I have never in my life met any bloke that hasn’t got the balls to speak to his neighbours about issues (which are non existent) but rings the police and hides in his house. It makes me mad because usually I wouldn’t think twice and just go all out and react but this would of course leave me in a cell and court for no reason whatsoever. I recently found out I am getting a payout from my car insurance so will most likely be starting to look for a new place once my Mum is back from Mexico.

Regarding my drug use I am still smoking cannabis and in all honesty I have no intention of stopping as it does not negatively affect my life and if anything adds a positives to life as without I am a terrible sleeper which in turn demotivates me due to lack of proper sleep.

That is about all that has gone on since the last post nothing exciting just day to day life really.

Yet again another year has flown by and Christmas is nearly upon us. I guess I can say things are going well my methadone dose is dropping currently at 56ml however I intend on starting a 2ml/fortnight reduction plan down to around 45-50ml I am unsure how low I am willing to go in a run. It is not that I doubt I can do it or deal with the minor withdrawals I could face. In fact I doubt I will notice 10ml drop as long as it is in 2ml increments with fortnight gaps.

As for my websites I have been putting some real work into them again as it seems the less methadone I am on the more motivated and productive I become. I read comments from people about methadone making them feel hazy and unable to continue to lead a normal life. I do not know if I am so used to methadone now that I do not notice or maybe I do not suffer from these effects as much as others if at all. I do think once off the methadone and done with the withdrawals that I will be able to do so much more in terms of getting somewhere in life. I do think my meth dose effects my sleep patterns at times such as tonight. I suppose at least I am not getting random hot flushes all the time.

Not much has been happening in my life I’m back in contact with Lauren which is constantly an on off thing but then it always way. We both lead totally different lives and come from different backgrounds. I also don’t think she understands quite how different our lives our. However they do say opposites attract.

I do have a KCA doctors appointment coming up on the 20th and fingers crossed I should be able to get some more take home meaning I only have to go to the chemist once a week instead of twice as it is at present.

Well out of the blue I awoke this morning after some weird dream about a nuclear bomb going off and a load of other stuff I have mostly forgotten by now I had the sensation of a scratchy throat which was only uncomfortable when swallowing etc. However as the day has gone on it has got worse and worse not only was I feeling fine the night before but slept OK and literally seemed to just have this no cough chills etc. After a little bit of reading I have been using freshly boiled saline solution gargled in mouth once cool enough which actually believe it or not does help but short and long term. However more to the point regardless of my past drug use which I am sure more so with stimulants gave my immune system a true battering but I very rarely get ill. It’s not even like we have mild winters I can literally see the sea from my window so it is always that bit colder and snow comes in heaps every year but it appears no longer am I on my run of no coughs colds etc.

A little about things happening etc other then my doctors appointment coming up next week I woke up the other morning to what appeared at first glance to be 5 police officers downstairs. So unlike me I went down and there was a council worker with them saying they are here to check the firm alarms we need access to the communal areas so I thought OK why not and then they all start following me upstairs and demanding to see my tenancy agreement. Now not only do I purposes study and learn the laws in which I am likely to come in contact to no police officer or council officer for that matter can knock on your door and demand these documents. I of course not only had a little fun by asking for the grounds they were acting on. Asking for a specific crime etc they blurted out some pointless act (acts/statues for those interested are not in any way shape or form considered law the funny thing is these legal offences are only given the power of law with consent by the governed and consent is clearly not automatic. Please feel free to check this out for yourself as you will be surprised just how many things people believe to be against the law but yet it is illegal which if you follow right back dates to the days of the British Empire (maritime).

The next thing to happen was after an exchange/debate on the specifics of how acts are not law and you have no common law jurisdiction to see these documents he blurts out breach of the peace. The only humans (person actually means fictional corporation so I won’t say person) who’s peace had been breached was mine and even when looked deeper into breach of the peace laws its clearly states an arrest is only warranted if a breach of the peace is imminent or the arrest will cease the breach but of course this is neither here nor there. Some of you may seem confused that I am telling you that for example drugs are lawful in the UK we may have been led to believe they are against the law well you show me one “law” that says this and I will give you a million pound. The drugs act is only one in fact there are hundreds if not hundreds if not thousands of these parliament endorsed statue/acts which lets face it are only revenue streams. An interesting one to look at is the Road Traffic Act as in our common law it clearly states about your right to travel. The bit where it gets interesting is that in legal terminology to apply for something means that it is not something you are allowed to do without said license. When you look at the law of the land (common law) we all have a right to travel without hindrance  Gets more interesting when you find out that the term driver is applied when travelling for commercial purposes. Do you think your a driver? If you drive a bus yes if a car to the shops no! However because you apply for right to travel which you already had you then have to abide by the road traffic act which then enforces yet more revenue collection in the form of road tax.

The bit I find most interesting is that when you register (to transfer ownership) your car with the DVLA you give then the car in return for being the registered keeper (not owner) thus if you don’t do as they say along come the nasty DVLA people to tow your car well technically there car. All of this can be traced back to the birth certificate which is just modern day slavery whichever way you look at it. Are the benefits we get (in terms of going along with whichever act in question) worth the rights we lose not to mention the lies that have been told and the clear agenda to without the truth. I really hope I have raised some questions as I hate to say but all of what I have said is 100% correct and only we the people can put it right. We need to wake up and take back control Conservative, Labour, UKIP you think there’s any difference of that they are being run by banks/big business and the select few who own so much.

I originally found out about these things when I found out how we basically register ownership of our children with the birth certificate here in the UK. We inform on our own children if you look up the legal definition of inform/informant you will be shocked because that one definition sets the path for this nationwide scandal. When in a legal standpoint words have certain meanings and register is without a shadow of a doubt to transfer ownership yet we are so stuck in this system we still do it. This is not our fault in so many ways because it has been done in a very low key clever but sly and sneaky way. I believe we will come out on top it will just take time for enough people to truly realise what is going on behind the scenes so to speak.

Again it has been a long time since my last post mainly because recently things have been up down and all over the place. Now I don’t mean this in terms of drug abuse etc but more emotions, cravings etc and then of course there comes into it all that the last of my son’s court cases have been and gone. Now although I backed away for a multiple number of reasons and I didn’t keep appearing once I made that decision I was still kept informed of things going on. Now just from the experience I’ve had with social services I think people need to see what they are really like and how they can tear families apart merely as some kind of sick training exercise using children. Now I bet so many of you will know what I am talking about and so many will also disagree with me till there blue in the face. I will agree that removing children from violent neglectful homes etc is a good thing but when they are called in to offer support and basically decide that adoption is the only option although a perfectly suitable middle aged woman (my Mum) which years of working in the health service mainly with children, good job, secure housing in a upper class area. Even without me in the house and my Mum retiring wasn’t good enough so now ask yourself the question is placing a child (6 months old) in foster care to be moved 6 months later to which he then stay for all this time up to the present day in the same family. Only now because said foster carers (nice people, looked after him well) put in an adoption order all of a sudden social services decide they have found a suitable candidate and that there is a million reasons why the people who they already trusted with my son’s care are not suitable. Well that is funny because you seemed to accept the fact it was safe and suitable was the last 2 odd years. From my personal experience social services are not corrupt to the very core they appear to use certain cases as training for recently graduated social workers who quite clearly have no idea of what they are doing. On another point I think anyone who disagrees with what I am saying to not only read other peoples stories with social services but also look into the grants and funding they get for hitting adoption targets. Human trafficking is illegal however Social Services can quite clearly earn money from adoption your yes that’s right YOUR child it’s happened to hundreds if not thousands of innocent people already! Just for the record I was not a heroin addict when I was fighting for my child however once it was realised how impossible (it really was made impossible ever heard the phase keep moving the bar well that’s Social all over) it was a series of events and emotions set me on this path. Now this has been a bit of a rant however it’s been a long time coming as for too long I have never posted above a lot of these truths and I hope that what you read shocks you into taking a look yourself as I am not here trying to form an opinion for you I would rather you just listened and done some of your own research and see/hear for yourself what your tax money is funding!!!

However on the whole things have been going well I have reduced now to 58ml of methadone and feel I could be clean ie no methadone opiates etc in 12 months if things continue as they are. I am not aiming for 12 months as I am taking things one day at a time as you really can’t plan a withdrawal on a substance with is not only quite unpredictable but always a long drawn out affair.

Well as most of you already know I have moved out of my Mum’s and into my own flat which is why I have been so busy the last few posts and posting has gone out the window. I was just sitting reading some of my posts back when I was still using and then my first attempt at dropping my methadone.

I currently have a relationship going on if you can really call that. She’s a lovely girl but we come from totally different life paths and I do not think she understands how emotionally fucked up I am. Plus there is the big issue of how she would deal with a situation and how I would deal with it. She really is amazing in every way it just seems near impossible to get her to see how I react and behave due to how I grew up and the lifestyle I have been involved in. Plus paranoia is always a big issue with relationships since the serial cheater. The thing that bothers me is I have never been wrong about a feeling and I get the feeling I ain’t the only one who has an interest in this girl and I’m pretty sure she’s off with someone else. Paranoia??? or am I reading things right (I’ve never been wrong before). Now you see my issue.

Well other then the above that’s about all that’s been going on. I really will try and keep you all updated more. I know I have said this lots but I really am a lot more settled now so we’ll see if I can keep to my word.