Heroin Addiction & Recovery Blog

Well today is Monday and although I have been on a long road putting my old life behind me, dropping old friends and making new relationships I still have various areas of my life which need work such as building up my businesses yes I am making rather good money not enough to live on solely just yet but it is increasing all the time and lets just say I could work harder then I do.

I put a lot of work into my websites and online methods but I usually find myself working for an hour then watching CSI or a episode of ER before returning to my computer and doing another hour or so at work although today I am unable to sit down and do a full days work due to having a KCA appointment I do intend as from Tuesday to get up at 9am and work right through till 4/5pm as this way I am putting a full days work in and hopefully I will see an increase in profits as I can be lazy at times.

Still I am looking forward to the future in a lot of ways I have Charlotte to thank for being able to look at life in a positive way again. My previous relationship fucked me up I have never met anyone that can do things that are so sick and twisted in ways I can’t believe I ever loved her, maybe I didn’t maybe it was just the whole having a kid and the situation not even being normal I was a Dad for 2 days before I lost my son. There is no excuses in the world that can excuse the repeated things she done a mistake is something you do once maybe twice when you repeatedly put yourself first i.e drugs and sex before your own kid knowing full well that social will not give you a chance for doing so is nothing but your own fault. I had drug problems both before and after I got involved with my son not heroin but ketamine and in the end I kicked it and even kicked smoking weed it was only when my head got so fucked up that I turned to heroin as an escape and as all those who have used before know it grabs you and once it has that’s it your bang in trouble.

After that first night Charlotte drove down and met me it felt like she had been the one thing that had been missing from my life, I had actually forgotten what it was like to be shown affection and love by some one else who really means it. The first night I ever met her I ended up falling asleep with her in my arms on my sofa downstairs there was nothing sexual about that night t wasn’t just a physical attraction but so much deeper then that she really pressed all the button and left me craving her attention. I may be trying to change my life in ways for her of course I have learnt over the last few years to do it for myself but when you have a connection like I do with Charlotte of course I want to change for her sake, although it has never bothered her I hate the fact I’m tied down by methadone its not a nice look but she still stuck by me so it’s only right I succeed.