Heroin Addiction & Recovery Blog

I had the weirdest thing happen on the way back from getting my methadone this morning, I woke up at 8.50am got dressed had a fag all the usual things I do and headed out to the chemist to go get my next daily dose and my take home for Sunday.

Now on the way back I saw the little old lady which I see every now and then walking up to Westgate town usually with her husband/partner and have always said hi and morning to them as they had to me just the usual pleasantries nothing you would or could ever consider conversation and I certainly don’t know her or anyone she knows so what happened next well and truly left me surprised and shocked.

I saw her from a distance and was expecting the usual morning or hello but today she walked up to me and said have they started reducing your medication now as I don’t know this woman I was sooo shocked that some how she knew I was on some medication and the way she said it I could tell she knew I was on methadone. Now the situation was not intimidating but the tension had started to rise and the conversation was becoming almost awkward. She then started to tell me about her son who was over ten years ago in the same position as me and she had sent him to rehab and he has now been clean for 10 years. She also said about methadone being worse and harder then heroin which is very true so she does know what she’s talking about as people who do not have real life experience of heroin and opiate addiction do not know the truth behind it all and only know what they see around hear from friends, governments and newspapers which in all honesty have made heroin addicts to be bad dirty people who steal and are generally horrible bad people.  Now just as anyone would I asked her how she knew about my so called problem and she said I just knew I think that due to her own experience of her son’s heroin addiction and use of methadone and rehab that when she saw me at 9am every morning walking up to the town and then straight back usually without sticking around or even going into the shops that after a while she clicked I was going to get my daily dose. It is true those who live with addictions like this do learn all the little give away signs. She kept saying I wasn’t being rude and she wasn’t I’m not the type of person to be bothered of course if some one would of come up to me and been judgemental and almost bossy I would of reacted totally differently but this little old woman is sweet and is the perfect example of how people should be all over. This little old lady who probably grew up herself in a totally different world compared to the world we live in today yet she has managed to accept the change, deal with it and even how to relate to those a lot younger then her living in a totally different lifestyle compared to hers. Of course she will have seen if not the very same a very similar view to that of what my Mum has seen .

It’s almost a sign that I’m really not meant to be a heroin addict and that this time maybe I am doing well because I am really done with it all. I gathered together all my old hit kits and wrapped up a few pins some filters and of course some critic and hid it and threw the rest out now to some people this seems mad why do I need pins if I’m not intending to use and in many ways you thoughts are right but I have to plan ahead if for what ever reason such as my script goes missing, I get put on hold, pharmacist cannot get it and I go into withdrawal I have clean works to use as I cannot deal with missing a dose as I am on a high dose of 75ml and even 1 missed dose would be hell. I have no intention of having to use these works but at least if worst comes to worst I have got them hidden.